Each year, nearly one million miscarriages occur in America. The emotional after-effects can be as unique as each woman who loses a child and the recovery just as personal.
This time is often a roller coaster of emotions -- numbness, disbelief, anger, guilt, sadness and even depression. Physical symptoms can include fatigue, trouble sleeping, a loss of appetite, and even self-harm or suicidal actions.
Society is beginning to understand that the grieving process after a miscarriage can be the same as when you lose a parent, a spouse or other family member. The first stage is often shock or denial.
Miscarriage can be difficult to accept. One day you’re pregnant, and the next you’re not. “Why did this happen to me?” is a common reaction and the anger that flows from that question may land on you. But it’s not your fault. Even if you were doing all the right things, a miscarriage can still happen anyway.
Struggling with these emotions can lead to depression and that’s the time to ask for help. Talk with your partner, a trusted friend, a counselor, or a spiritual leader.
If you’re not ready to talk, write down your feelings in a journal or a letter to get the anger out of your system. Listening to music, going for a long walk, or even crying in the shower are other ways to experience these strong feelings but in a safe way.
Acceptance is the final step. You’re not okay with what happened, but you confirm in your mind that it’s real. At this point, many women and their partners seek counseling or join support groups to open up about their experiences and feelings.
Remember that you don’t have to face your loss alone. After a miscarriage, reach out to those closest to you and ask for understanding, comfort, and support, and allow yourself plenty of time to grieve and remember.
